Introduction

The sky was painted with a curtain of black.There were no twinkling of the night jewels as my fingers sped across the black keyboard.The only source of light in my bedroom was the glow of the computer screen,and the only sounds that could be heard were the soft hum of the CPU,the constant ticking of the clock,the flurry of keys being pressed on the keyboard and the occasional car passing my street.I was beginning to get frustrated;the thoughts in my head just weren't coming out right.The sentences in the confined box of my monitor screen seemed awkward,out of place.I ran my fingers through my almost shoulder-length hair and let out a huge sigh.I leaned back in my chair and stretched,my muscles sighing with relief.Glancing at the round,red wall clock,I was surprised to see that it was already past 3 a.m.I'd been typing non-stop for almost 4 hours.That's a new record,I thought.I walked into the small,cream-coloured ceramic-tiled toilet in my room and splashed some water on my face.I felt a slight shock as the icy cold water came in contact with my skin.As my gaze fell upon the reflection in the white-framed square mirror,I noticed there was a brown paper bag hanging on one of the multi-coloured clothes hook.That's odd,I don't remember seeing that before.I turned around to inspect the object that caught my attention.I reached out and took the bag off the hook.I sat on the toilet seat and peered into the bag.The walls of the brown bag were lined with a thin,tissue-like paper.As I put my hands in the bag to take out its contents,I felt my fingers grip on...........

What should 'I' take out of the bag?Something scary?Nice?Surprising?You decide,and I'll come up with the continuance of the story.=P

New Sight

The evening sunlight peeked through the leaves on the big tree outside the house,causing them to look translucently green.The red leaves looking like a fire,blazing through the day.Beauty beyond comparison.Things that have always been there,suddenly look brand new again.The scent of the air,tinged with a mild perfume of hope for the days to come.Gone is the awkwardness of not knowing where I'm headed,replaced with new determination for the road ahead.The breath that I didn't realise I was holding,finally released.I'm free to roam again,without any weights holding me down.The unquenchable desire to gain new experiences and touch new lives,grows even more to an alarming height.The roads are flooded with people,moving with time,accepting all that is given to them.Without questions,expecting no answers.I shall be the one to question,and I shall be the one in search of answers.

Hope:Never Changing.

In the dark;when no one's looking,
In the dark;when no one's listening,
I'm calling out to You.
Day and night;things look so different-
They're not,what they really seem,
But with You,my Lord and King,
You're never ever changing.

All around the world,
People sing Your praises.
All around the world,
People stand in awe of You;
Hoping for a lifetime,spent with You,
My everything.
Jesus,You have captured,
My heart and my soul.


*Inspired by nights under the starry sky and reliving childhood memories..=)

Love Story

This is my own love story,
It reminds me of all I have for me.
This is my love story,
Starring only You and Me.

Nothing in the world can take this feeling away,
Nothing in the world can say we're not OK.
'Cause I am,now that I have You.

You alone are my Jesus,
You alone are my King,
You and I,we belong,
You and I,I do more than dream.

This is my own love story,
It tells me all I am is ME.
This is my love story,
It keeps me standing on my feet.

On the run again...where will it lead me to this time?

Running with all her might,she's trying to escape from the one enemy she can't tear herself apart from.The one she fears is one so close to her.One she knows so well,but can't defeat.The blurs of the buildings and people around her;they look so familiar yet somehow she couldn't piece them together.They try to reach out to her,desperately trying to bring her back from that unknown land.Contaminated with hatred and anger,filled with despair and brokenness.She wasn't letting herself go.She's holding herself down,stopping her from living her life.The fear of who she is;the person no one knows about.That person was constantly finding her way to the surface and attempts to take her place in a life that wasn't her own.Who was this person everyone once knew?Where had she gone?
I've been hiding from my own self all these years.So afraid of who I'd become,of who I would be in future.Will I be who everyone expects me to be,or will I be just plain and simple me?What more can they take from me?All that's left of me is this puppet,controlled by the ways of the world.I desperately try to break free,but the knots tied onto me are too tight.They're suffocating me,preventing me from being free.I'm going through the pathways of life,but it isn't me.I hear voices calling me.Telling me to stay strong.Strong?What is this word?It sounds so familiar,like a friend that was once so close to me,but got ripped away from me.Each step I take is getting smaller.As I stand on my feeble feet,I feel my body shaking.The helplessness is killing me.I hear laughter behind me.Unconsciously,I hear myself praying to God.Crying out for strength and hope.I turn,but before I can get a good look at the maniac who's keeping me prisoner,I see a bright light.My heart bursts with joy like never before.I never thought I'd actually see this day.
The beautiful trees around me.Tiny rays of sunlight peek through the leaves and branches.Small children are playing near a crystal clear pond.Their melodious laughter ringing in the air.I see beautiful houses decorated with flowers and painted with a shiny glow.The sun and moon both hung in the sky.Clouds and stars combined to form a beautiful curtain above the horizon.The grass below my feet are covered with tiny diamond dewdrops.A sweet scent hung in the air,leaving a peaceful and loving atmosphere all around me.All I felt like doing was singing,dancing with joy.I lifted my arms to feel the warmth of the air,the slight drizzle of rain,a gentle breeze playing with my hair.Everything felt so connected to one another.I've never felt so loved,and yet,the minute I stepped into this place,that's exactly what I felt.I see a man,standing under a tree,observing me and everything around me at the same time.The expression in His eyes,made me start to cry....

Another Untitiled Post

I live to love You,Lord,
I live to bring You praise.
In perfect harmony,
Your children learn Your ways.

To worship You,my Lord,
For all eternity.
To see You have Your way,
In every step we take.

My Lord,my Life,my All,
In everything I do.
I'll look only to You,
In all I live to do.

Everything for You

The sounds of instruments,
All different but joined in one song;
To come and play and sing,
For the glory of You,Lord.

Hearts are beating,
Sweat is breaking,
As we're waiting;
To dance for You,with awe.

All You are,Lord,
Is all we'll ever need.
Nothing else can ever quench,Lord;
This thirst for You that's oh so deep.

Lord,all I do is only for You.
All I can give,I give to You.
Lord,You mean more than the world,
To us lost and longing souls.

*Inspired by worship team audition candidates..=D

My World

Looking at the world in a new light,
Seeing it all for the first time.
Excitement is rushing in,
And finally the fear runs out.

For so long,I've been trapped,
By the weight of my world in my hands.
Now everything has new meaning,
A whole new world to live out.

I finally have a place,
A place I can call my own.
Never will I have to run again,
From the troubles in my heart.

I won't run,never run...
I won't hide,never hide...
I have You,and You are all I need.

Memories

So many years had passed.Things had changed from the last time I set foot in this place I once called 'home'.What pushed me to leave this place at that time?Walking down the path that lead to an old house at the end of town,I tried recalling the reasons I had for wanting to move away from here so many years ago.Somehow,I just couldn't find anything that clicked.All I remembered was that I was so determined to leave.Reaching the moss green door of the old building,anticipation filled me.Would things still be the same?or did this place change as much as the town had?I turned the slightly rusted doorknob and pushed the door open.It creaked open slowly,eventually revealing the place that was my childhood home.I cautiously stepped in,stepping on the old wooden floor covered with a thick layer of dust and grime.Wherever I walked,I left footprints.I brought my camera out and quickly took a picture of my footprints.Then,I shifted my attention to the room around me.The sofa was just as dusty as the floor.All the furniture in the room was exactly where I had left them last time,except they were in very bad shape.They cushions were moth-eaten,wooden tables and legs of the chairs were victim to termite attacks.The curtains had holes all over creating a very fairytale effect around the room wherever the rays of sunlight peeked through.I remembered how I used to play in the living room with my pet dog.I remembered how my mom used to sit on the sofa and tell me stories about her childhood.I remember my dad tickling me as I was lazing on the sofa.I actually remembered them!All those long forgotten memories were always with me.I just never bothered reflecting on them and remembering them.Tears began to prick at the corner of my eyes.I'd pushed my family away right after high school.I never bothered keeping in touch with them.I was so intent on being as far away as possible from them that now,when I'm longing for them,it's too late.They're gone.I never appreciated them,the home I had,the love we shared together,the memories we created together.Will I ever be able to find them again?Will they ever forgive me?Will they ever love me again?

To be continued...

FIRE UP!!!

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Feeling so empty,so out of my place.
My heart's beating faster and faster,
Due to my options,the decisions I make.
Each has its own weight,will I rise up or sink under?

Who will I choose to be?
Who will You let me be?
Right now nothing's alright,
And I can't see Your bright light,anymore..

So dry,so withered,
Like a flower petal dried in the pages of a book.
On the outside,you see its beauty,
But inside,it contains no life.

I'm humbling myself at Your feet again.
I lay down my life,and carry my cross.
Everything I have or don't,
I leave it all to Your mighty hands.

He Came

Over a thousand years ago,
A kind soul roamed our world.
Giving all of Him so we would know,
That we are meant to live with love,in our souls.

Over a thousand years ago,
People watched Him learn and grow.
Watching Him hurt and bleed,we all know,
To save our dying souls.

He came and lived just as we did,
Set foot in our broken homes.
Loved us more than love Himself,
Sent revival to this run-down land.

He came,He lives in me.
He came,He set me free.
He came,and now I know I live in a land of love,
Because He came,my Jesus He came!

I want to be with YOU..

Words can never express my love,
Songs can never convey my adoration,
Dances are never enough to show;
How much my Jesus means to me.

Yet still my words try to reach out,
And my songs try to seep into Your heart.
I dance for the joy of Your victories;
Lord,You're searching my broken heart.

I want to witness Your Majesty,
I want to know where Your love will take me.
Jesus I'm giving You all of me,
Lord,don't just let me be.

Jesus,I want to be with You,
I want to be with You...

Frustration

Why do you cause yourself so much hurt?
Do you enjoy being sad and alone?
Can't you just open up and let your own sister help?
You cry,but when someone offers a hand,you completely ignore it?
What's the point of shedding those tears?
You beat yourself up over the mistakes that you've made,
You don't give your own self a chance.
If you can't love your own being,
How can you claim to love others?
Troubles that are so tiny,practically microscopic,
Are turned into problems as wide and unlimited as the sky.
How long more till you completely break yourself?
How long more till you actually accept the love around you?
Do you plan on building your life on hurt,revenge and sadness?
I don't know what else to do or say,
All I can do now is pray.
I love you so much!
Please know that,my sister.

Sanctuary

She screams,trying desperately to let all of her frustrations out.Over and over again it seems like she's making the same mistakes.Finally,she stops,panting.Her throat feels raw and painful.Tears stinging in her eyes as she tries her hardest not to let them fall.Thoughts racing in her head as she slowly slumps to the ground.The damp grass soaking the fabric of her jeans.She bows her head down,whether or not in defeat,she doesn't know herself.Everything around her is a blur,the same thing plays in her head like a CD put on repeat.The same words that shook her inside out,shocking her senses!She stares out at the world below her;the city stretched out far across from the spot she was sitting on on top of her hill.Yes,HER hill.No one was supposed to know this spot other than her.It was her sanctuary,the one place she felt secure and safe....

What?

So many thoughts running in my head,
Confusion and wonder ringing although there's no sound.
Words from my heart,now left unsaid,
Pain and tension forms knots and bounds.

I'm still trying to remember and recall,
All the things I said and did,
Before what you told me almost made me fall,
And now I'm trying desperately to hold on.

Who You are to me

Lord,I need You...
With all my flaws and doubts,
You are the One that makes me whole.
No one can compare when it comes to Your love for me.
In my brokenness,I call out Your magnificent name,
My Father,my Creator,my Friend,I'm calling for Thee.
All I want is to see You face to face,
How it will be,I imagine everyday.
Without fail,You pick me up,
You unlock my broken heart.
Without You,I would never have been free,
Without You,I wouldn't be me.
All my hopes,and all my dreams,
You hold in your hands,my tender pleas.

I pray

Lord,I feel so broken up inside.I feel so helpless,Lord.I don't have the strength to hold onto everything in my life on my own,Lord!!I need You,Jesus!I can't stand straight and hold my head high without Your.I can't keep my home without You.Everything seems so 'done',so unchangeable!!!Lord,I know You can and will change it for me according to Your plans!Whatever Your plans are for my family and I,I welcome it with open arms,longing arms.I'm so small without You,Lord.Holy Spirit continue to stir my spirit,to urge me to the right path,right decisions.Continue to minister to my heart,my problems.I love my home,Lord.I love my family,and I know they're hurting inside as well.Jesus,they need YOU!!!No one else can take Your place!!Help them see that,Lord!!!I need them to know You,Your love for them,Your promises for them.I pray Lord,that you give me peace.Help me face this problem bravely and filled with hope and faith in YOU!!There is none like You,GOD!No one...I pray all this is Jesus' precious name,Amen...

See me,please?

Do you see me in the crowd?
As I'm desperate to catch your eye;
Seeing you laugh and smile without me by your side,
Kills me deep inside.

Happy as I am for you,
I cannot help but hope;
For a future that includes me and you,
Inside your golden globe world.

Any second I could fall,
If not for your tiny gestures of care.
As tiny as they may be,
I want them all to be for me.

How can one so great be there a while,
And yet disappear in a magician's cloud?
Dragged away willingly by your wiles,
The you that was never meant for me.

I thought...

I thought you were my friend,
I thought you'd hold onto my hand.
Now a year has passed,
And on your face,there's a mask

True or false,I don't know which,
All I know is it makes you tick.
Whether or not I say it all,
All you do is watch me fall.

You think I'm fake,
Well,no I'm not!
You watch me shake,
Waiting for me to rot.

Gruesome as things are now,
I cling onto my ball of hope.
All I need is for you to know,
I'm sorry,I'm still trying to cope.

Why Dad?

You tell me I'm wasting time,
You tell me to just stay inside.
The world's a horrible place,
You won't be able to show your face.

Everything you do is useless,
Everything you make is worthless.
Why bother?Why care?
It's not like anyone knows you're there.

You're delusional,wake up!
Open your eyes to the death in life.
You'll never be able to get that cleaned up,
Just stay at home,away from knives.

But,I do see it!
Everything around,its harmony calls to me.
Why must there be limits?
Do you really love me?

You tell me you'll always be there by my side,
Nothing in the world would make you run and hide.
Yet,now in truth I see the light,
It's not on you,its on your fright.

You pretend to be strong.
You think you're always right,
But do you know what's in my head?
Do you know what I think at night?

You know nothing about me,
You understand nothing at all;
Yet you act all courageous and brave,
Attempt to catch me when I fall.

As usual,at the last minute you bail,
Staying by my side,that's what you've failed.
You walk away,turning back,
That's what you did,Dad!

All I do

Every step that I take,
I want to life up Your name;
To see a nation that claims,
That You are Father.

Rejoice in Your embrace,
Call out Your wondrous name.
In awe of Your majesty,
You are my Creator.

And I sing,to give You glory,
And I dance,to bring You praise,
I jump,to reach out to You,my King.
Climb up,to every mountain,
Dive in,to every sea,
Run to,my salvation;
Yes,You are alive in me.

Desperation

Everything I do,I do it for You.
Everything I say,I say it for You.
When I make mistakes,You don't turn away,
You call me closer to You.

Nothing can ever compare to You;
You alone are all that's mighty.
You are the wind that's calling my name;
You are my everything.

Show them Your mighty power,
Teach them to sing from within.
Open their eyes for they are blinded,
Cleanse us from our sins.
Reach down and tell the mountains,
Every ocean obeys Your command.
I want to serve You as I stand on this land
Lord,let my life begin.

You Give Me

I was wandering,so lost and confused,
Looking out for,someone to cling onto.
All around me,everyone seemed so lost,
Yet You found me,and reside in my heart.

Leaning onto,all that You are,
Crying out when,I feel You're so far.
You held onto me,kept me safe,
We will never be apart.

You give me hope,You give my strength,
You give me love,You held onto my hand;
So I give You my all.
You give me courage,You give me peace,
You give me blessings,and cleanse my sins;
That is why,oh Lord,I will give You my heart.

I cling onto You,as close as I can;
Hold onto Your hand and walk Your path.
You know I'm weak,You make me strong,
You help me to right all my wrongs.

I need...

Thinking about what's been going on,
Sulking about all that I've done wrong.
How is it possible for anyone to be strong?
Discouragement ringing in my head,
Telling me who I should be instead.

I need to be free,
I need to embrace what's left of my sanity!
I want to get out of all my failures,
I want to be hold on,be able to stand strong.
I want to prove that I can be all that I want to be.

Walking and talking and dreaming of what could be!
Shoving aside all those demands that are clinging on me.
I've done my best,done what I can do,
Gave it my all,hoped I wouldn't fall,
Just to be me...

Him..

Fear pounds inside me unwanted,
It soaks right intomy skin uninvited.
The need to get rid of this emotion.
Then need to be set free.

I think of this one person,
That can help me flap my wings.
He takes me to this familliar place,
One that I know happiness it will bring.

A love so strong it devours all pain.
The fear inside me just goes away.
This love,so strong and mighty,
It keeps me safe from my old mistakes.

Take a Stand

Standing and listening to the complaints of the world,
Everyone's got something they don't like about the way things are done.
Words from our mouths poison the world,
Yet no one takes a stand.
To open the eyes of those who are blind,
Blind to the beauty that surrounds us.
And yet they take everything to be trash;
They themselves started it all,
Still no one bothers to make it end.

Taken for Granted

The unknown love of another,held in your hands.
Eyes pleadingly asking to be more than 'just friends'.
How can we be so clueless at some times?
Whilst others are staring helplessly,asking for second tries.
Colder than ice your eyes pierce through mine.
Leaving me blind to the true needs I long in life.
Just to see a glimpse of your smile,
I do the unexpected that's not even worthwhile.
Why are my actions taken for granted?
Despite all I've been through,
I get no more than a lousy fried nugget.